Milkeipure: The Dark Side Of My 2011

The Truth Behind 2011's 22lb In A Week's Weight Loss...

As you may have seen recently through my twitter, I've been reflecting upon the mess I was in last year. From about March all the way through to July/August sort of time, I had fallen ill and was losing weight rapidly. I took about just over a month off of school - and I never take time off school, until last year I had not taken more than one day in a term off - around my GCSE's...

It was pretty awful.

But how did it start?

Well if you've been around for a long time and remember it happening, you'll remember that I lost 22lbs in a week and a half...and that was in March when the trouble first started and from then until now I've gone from a size 12/14 all the way down to 6/8. But I would not recommend it to anyone to be honest... It was horrid. Not going to lie.

At the time, I just told you all that I had fallen ill. I did in fact fall ill with different infections, colds and minor diseases all at once. (which was the main reason for the initial 22lb weight loss...when you get ill, your energy gets used up fighting the bad stuff xD...that's in really simple terms!)

But that was of course triggered by something else, my immune system can't completely drop and let in all of these infections and diseases just for no reason right?

I think this is the first time I've said this online, but over a year after the event, I think I can just come out and say everything now and actually face the problem myself and deal with it.

At the time, I was interested in Gyaru. Many Gyaru models are around 30-40kg and at the time I was like 55kg...now this doesn't sound that bad to you? ...I'm 148cm tall. I wasn't obese...but I certainly wasn't at an ideal weight either. But I did start reading Ana tips and Pro-Ana blogs like this gyaru one...

I spent most of my time reading Japanese Gyaru Magazines and staring at these girls, in the end I gave up. I started the Morning Banana Diet and stopped eating pretty much everything other than bananas. I completely stopped eating breakfast and lunch...I would eat dinner and then proceed most nights to be sick afterwards.

Life wasn't particularly great then.

I wasn't losing much weight. Certainly not the amount I was wanting. And I was getting worse by the day. I suffer from pretty much most deficiencies at the best of times...in particular, I'm anaemic. As I was barely eating anything, my iron intake was pretty awful. For the whole of last year...I did, 2 PE lessons? Simply because I wasn't strong enough.

The time that wasn't spent in the hospital or at home, I was in the medical room.

I did try and pretend I was fine though.

It was only when I started losing weight that the problem arose. I began to come down with infections, the worst being chest and lung...after this...well I think it's pretty obvious what happened. My body tried to fight these, but because I hadn't eaten in weeks...It did fail. The energy wasted in fighting my infections, transferred to weight loss...

I have only just got my weight stabilised properly, and it has been slightly worrying.

Yet this journey has definitely been a lesson to me.

I've learnt my body. My limits and where no person should take their body to.

However, this has left me pretty sensitive...I gave in partially due to media pressure and dissatisfaction...this has led me to notice others who are in the condition I was more. The point of this post is not pity, it's not to make you feel bad or gross you out. Rather just awareness. Love your body guys, even if you are slightly overweight, never stop eating. No matter the circumstance. There is no exception. I don't want to see another person go through what I did.

Although I'm more than happy with the stage I'm at now, as you can see through my activeness - is that a word? - in the ulzzang community, I'm pretty happy with my body...and yes, especially my face.

There was definitely better ways to approach my goals and ways that would not leave me in this position. I've now been left with conditions that I'm not sure will ever leave me, sure they're silly minor things...but when we're old and have loads of serious age related health problems, I'm just going to have one extra on the list now.

(and you don't want to deal with stupid "Have you had plastic surgery?", "Who was your surgeon?", "Where did you get your tummy tuck done?" etc. questions...xDD)

So, save yourself from that guys.

Stay away from the pro-Ana sites, the gyaru weight loss sections...

Enjoy your body. It's yours. Although I don't believe in a God, your body is still a gift. Look after it.

I'm sorry if I've depressed you guys now, but I thought it was an important topic to address and I thought you guys should finally find out the reasons behind my loserishness last year. Here's a quick set of pictures quickly to display the actual difference.